17th March, Tues, RaIn RaIn RaIn
Today's the D Day for Ting. She's going to be induce today. Her little Prince is not growing well, only 2.4kg at 38 weeks. So Dr Heng recommend induction. I really envy her, can see her little stranger today. I'm still waiting. Only 32 weeks today. Have to tahan another 2 weeks at least for his sake, hopefully 5 weeks if possible. Ting asked me why will I'm so excited instead of nervous during labour. Well.. I really can't wait to bring Little Nigel to this BiG BiG WorlD, to see My little Stranger, to know everything is ok and to end this endless worrying over everything !!
But all this reminded me of my little lost baby. If everything had went as plan, I will be waiting for his birth or maybe even have delivered him already and holding him in my arms. His EDD was to be the same as Ting's Little Princey. Sighz. I cried a lot yesterday (till I vomit out all the ice cream I ate). Still crying now actually.. At the risk of sounding a little creepy, we chinese believe tat the soul of a child will not be attached to the fetus till 6 mths. So Shawn kept telling me not to be sad when I lost my baby. He believe he will be back. And he did, 6 weeks later.. My Little Nigel. So Shawn and I believe Little Nigel is one and the same. I believe it too. But somehow, I still cannot help feeling sad. Now, all I hope is that Nigel will be safe and sound.
(P.S. Why all the he and him.. cos I always have a feeling tat my lost baby is a boy, I also same the same feeling when I have Nigel)
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