Lil Nigel & Lil Johanna: April 2011

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Penny for my Thoughts .... Family Time Vs Work Time

Something went through my mind today regarding our society's family versus work life. I have realized that as working mothers, we spent at least 8 days per day at work. By the time we reach home, we get to spent only at most 2 to 3 hours with our kids before they sleep... If there is overtime, then sometimes, we don't even get to spend any time at all with our kids. Our kids properly know their caretakers more than their mums. And we mums properly understand our colleagues more than our kids.

My mum made a comment 2 days ago that I am not a very good mother. I can't cook stuff that Nigel likes to eat. My mum prepare all his food. I don't really understand some of his gestures like my mum does. I am studying at NIE now, so it's a 4 hours trip for me to go to NIE and by the time I am home will be around 7, Nigel's bedtime is at 9. So effectively, by the time I take a bathe, taken my dinner, I spent around one and a half hours with Nigel only. It is really scary how little time I spend with Nigel. Family time is even less. Shawn mostly has appointment at night, like today... 1014pm and he is still not home yet. He only spend 5 minutes with Nigel and off he goes to work. Even weekends he have to work! Like on Good Friday and Easter Sunday. I had to make a prior appointment with him on Sat as Family Day! But what to do, his job requires him to do all this stuff plus his boss... well... Haiz ... Not everyone understands the value of Family Time.

Most families in Singapore are like mine. Most of the time, both parents are working and kids have to be taken care either by grandparents if they are lucky otherwise will be maids, babysitters or childcare centers. In the past, mothers mostly are housewives while husbands are sole breadwinners. But due to huge increase in everything else except our salary, both parents have to work now, unless the other half is earning a lot. So kids nowadays are pretty spoilt. It 's a sad reality. Our future generations will be very different from our time. For in instance, in a mrt or bus, it is the 40plus year old people that actually give up their seats and not the students !! Most of the students now are not taught moral values, they are just focused on studies. Parents do not have time to impart values to their kids as kids spent a lot more time with caretakers who are just there to make sure they are fed, they do their homework and that's all.

Though I know Nigel will be well taken care of under my mum's strict guidance but I feel as a mother, I should spend more time with him. He doesn't even want to address me as mummy, honestly I don't think he feel that I am his mum. So I took the plunge, suffer a 1k paycut and change my job. Now due to studies, I am really busy but once everything is settled, things will be better as least my job will be more flexible and I can bring my work home to do. And today, Nigel look at me and call me "Mummy" !!!! Definitely worth it !!