October normally to me is the best month of the year cos it's my birthday month! But this year, October is positivity the worst month for me. Whatever it is, I have to stay strong for Nigel's sake. But sometimes I do envy those that can go on a frenzy and not care about what people think. But I'm too sane to do that. I wish I am not so strong minded. I wish I could take a chair and hurl it towards the wall. I wish I can scream out loud. I wish I can take a walk in the rain. I wish I can have the courage to quit my job now not caring about anything else....
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